Am I Missing Out Not Having Sex?

whodathunkit

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I just don't want the OP to take bad advice with regards to women and dating, much like I wouldn't like someone to take diet or supplement advice that I know is terrible.
Me, either. Which is why I suggested what I did. Did you bother to read my whole post? But wait. That's probably beneath you.

But really...who should he take advice from? An older, experienced woman who can give perspective, or young guys in his demographic who are having exactly the same trouble he is with women?
 

whodathunkit

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Dany will die I am pretty sure next season.
Me, too. But do you really think the children from that Aunt/Nephew coupling will make it through? I'm wondering sometimes if Jon won't get with Sansa after all is said and done. She's only his cousin, which is more socially acceptable than the Aunt/Nephew thing. And that would cement the alliance between North and South.

I have not considered the Cersei as Night Queen angle. It's been a couple years since I read the books. You may have provoked me into getting into them again. Looks like it could be 1.5 years before the series comes back. And I don't expect George RR to put out another book before the series wraps. So that's enough time to re-read what's already out there.

I do want Jamie to get with Brienne at least once before he dies, though. Actually contemplated a Jamie Lannister bastard by Brienne, although raised happily ever after by Ser Tormund (along with all the blonde and ginger monster babies).
 

Ella

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This is odd advice. It gives the impression that you withhold sex from your husband unless he jumps through 100 hoops like some lapdog, whose existence is solely to please you, combined with being an atm. Loving each other should keep you together, what happens when the children move out?

The fact that I cook all his meals from scratch, look after the garden so he can have delicious meals not a sign of love? I have born him three beautiful children (yes they have left home) which he absolutely adores and they adore him. I raised them on my own because he was always travelling. I ring him everyday to make sure he is OK. I have fought many battles for him legally. I have written tonnes of research papers for him plus reports and correspondences for his work. I entertained and cooked for his colleagues and relatives and looked after his invalid mother with mobility issues. Many would have left her to rot in age-care. I took her off all meds and rehabilitated her. She was not even my mum. It is a big asked to care for someone elses mother, especially when she had been a very neglectful mother to her only son. I nursed him through his ulcerative colitis when he was skin and bones and they wanted to remove his bowels and I rehabilitated him without surgery. His mother didn't even visit him. He eats everything now even milk and dairy, gluten with absolutely no issues. He is the envy of all his mates because he can run like a kid, has no belly and still has all his hair. Meanwhile, his friends have to watch and be careful of what they eat. He eats like a horse and has the body of a thoroughbred.

As for the atm. He came into the marriage with little wealth and I made him a rich man. I definately did not marry him for his money because there wasn't any. His mother squandered the family wealth. He was shocked to find out how much I had accumulated before I came into the marriage. He never suspected that I started investing my money from a young age. He castigated me for taking $30,000 from his savings for a deposit on an investment property, while we were still building our house. He scolded me for bidding too high. I told him one day this house will make you a rich man This property is now worth 1.2million and today we can build apartments on it. I told him that one day we would buy the property next door and I did. I showed him how to make money. He had no idea how too if I didn't push him. I had many opportunities to marry wealthy men but what was the fun in that. I wanted to create my own wealth and I was looking for someone special to help me achieve my dreams. If I had married a wealthy man I probably would have needed to be submissive to his dictates. It would never have worked for me. I understood this from a young age. I needed complete freedom to be who I am. My husband gave me complete freedom and has always been my biggest supporter. I made the right choice because he had all the right traits of being faithful, good values, hardworking and the potential to be a good father. Besides, what is the chance of finding your soulmate. So glad I waited for him after all the those derelict ones. Yes, he was very fertile and so was I. I think with my last one we didn't even have sex. So his sperm must have been, not only good swimmers but pretty good jumpers and I was still breastfeeding.

I wish you luck in finding your soulmate.

If he treats me like his queen, then I treat him as my prince. Our relationship goes beyond the physical - there does not have to be sex involved for us to still be excited to please each other even after > 35 years.

Yes, I enjoy having my feet kissed very much :)
 

raypeatclips

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Me, either. Which is why I suggested what I did. Did you bother to read my whole post? But wait. That's probably beneath you.

But really...who should he take advice from? An older, experienced woman who can give perspective, or young guys in his demographic who are having exactly the same trouble he is with women?

Do you think being patronising and demeaning adds anything to the discussion?

Yes I did read your full post, which part were you wanting me to respond to?

Why would I take the advice of a 400 lb man on how to get a six pack? You have never had sex with a heterosexual woman, why do you think your advice is paramount to everybody elses, including people that have had sex with heterosexual women? Also, who said I was having the problems he has lol.

I'll leave it up to OP (and anyone else) to decide who he thinks it best to take advice from.
 
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Xisca

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This advice is useful if you want to be a provider for some 30+ woman. It is harmful if you want to date and have sex with the young hot ones.
If not for a husband and wife life, then the best is to learn to feel the right distance needed, and leave SPACE to your partner. If you do all the moves forward, the other will do all the move backward, and the dance will not be fair. Do not be invasive and leave movement to be done by the other person. It is like starting a fire, when it is small, if you blow too strong, you kill it.
 

milk_lover

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Me, too. But do you really think the children from that Aunt/Nephew coupling will make it through? I'm wondering sometimes if Jon won't get with Sansa after all is said and done. She's only his cousin, which is more socially acceptable than the Aunt/Nephew thing. And that would cement the alliance between North and South.

I have not considered the Cersei as Night Queen angle. It's been a couple years since I read the books. You may have provoked me into getting into them again. Looks like it could be 1.5 years before the series comes back. And I don't expect George RR to put out another book before the series wraps. So that's enough time to re-read what's already out there.

I do want Jamie to get with Brienne at least once before he dies, though. Actually contemplated a Jamie Lannister bastard by Brienne, although raised happily ever after by Ser Tormund (along with all the blonde and ginger monster babies).
Yeah it makes sense after Danny dies, he marries his cousin Sansa and raises his child from Danny and from Sansa together strengthening the north and the south relationship as you said. George is a slow writer but hopefully in the next few months he can surprise us with Winds of Winter so we can read something before the final season of the show debuts.
 

whodathunkit

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I'll leave it up to OP (and anyone else) to decide who he thinks it best to take advice from.
Thank you.

And, if this is truly the case, in the future please refrain from making the kind of condescending and patronizing remark you made ("This is why you don't take advice from a woman on how to sleep with women") that started off this useless side tangent to this discussion in the first place.
 

raypeatclips

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Immaculate conception.

Thank you.

And, if this is truly the case, in the future please refrain from making the kind of condescending and patronizing remark you made ("This is why you don't take advice from a woman on how to sleep with women") that started off this useless side tangent to this discussion in the first place.

I stand by what I said.

Are game of thrones predictions not useless tangents :lol:
 

whodathunkit

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Yeah it makes sense after Danny dies, he marries his cousin Sansa and raises his child from Danny and from Sansa together strengthening the north and the south relationship as you said. George is a slow writer but hopefully in the next few months he can surprise us with Winds of Winter so we can read something before the final season of the show debuts.
I dunno...I'm wondering if George RR doesn't have something going with the producers and HBO to not complete his books now before the end of the TV series. Guess we'll see.

There are so many people who could turn out to be Azor Ahai...what makes you think will be Jamie? Tyrion would be a good one. He's obviously going to play a pivotal role in the endgame, right?

I think Jaquen H'Gar and Syrio Forrell are one and the same, and Jaquen is going to show up at Winterfell with a bag of faces for Arya to wear.

Anyway, shouldn't hijack the thread. I'm still in the show hole over this short season, though.
 
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whodathunkit

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Are game of thrones predictions not useless tangents
They're certainly more fun than your self-righteous remarks. :D

Give a rest, young 'un. You can't win here. If you wont' take advice from a woman on what women want, you've got bigger problems than worrying about tangents in a forum thread.
 

raypeatclips

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They're certainly more fun than your self-righteous remarks. :D

Give a rest, young 'un. You can't win here. If you wont' take advice from a woman on what women want, you've got bigger problems than worrying about tangents in a forum thread.

I know you've already told me you don't want a man with a beard... oh no yes you do... oh no you don't.
 

Xisca

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There is a saying that you should never take the advice of a woman on how to have sex with a woman.
Well I know some who were quite happy with some of my advices... Not general advices, only when I knew the man.

If men give advices, usually I think they do not know enough kind of men, only themselves, and they are usually of bad advice! So of course you can think that women are of bad advices about women... Right, obviously women do not know what type of women are different from themselves, but we are more homogeneous, at least in our socio-cultural environment, and we speak a lot about his among friends. We very often agree on fundamental things on relationships.

Anyway, each time I could tell a man that he had some special nice qualities about his ways, he ALWAYS said that all women told him the same as me! Of course I do know that some women do nothing and just wait for their partner to do it all. Then there is no dance of course. Women know women, they do give good advices. But about beard or whatever, this is about taste, and this will vary a lot. I do not speak of this but of attitude.
 

whodathunkit

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I know you've already told me you don't want a man with a beard... oh no yes you do... oh no you don't.
Now I see reading comprehension is also among your problems. This explains a lot. LOL

So anyway, I'm done. Won't take the bait on this any longer. Again, as you said, OP is free to take advice from whomever he chooses: young men who have the same issues he does with women, or women who actually know what might help him, based on personal experience.
 

LUH 3417

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The fact that I cook all his meals from scratch, look after the garden so he can have delicious meals not a sign of love? I have born him three beautiful children (yes they have left home) which he absolutely adores and they adore him. I raised them on my own because he was always travelling. I ring him everyday to make sure he is OK. I have fought many battles for him legally. I have written tonnes of research papers for him plus reports and correspondences for his work. I entertained and cooked for his colleagues and relatives and looked after his invalid mother with mobility issues. Many would have left her to rot in age-care. I took her off all meds and rehabilitated her. She was not even my mum. It is a big asked to care for someone elses mother, especially when she had been a very neglectful mother to her only son. I nursed him through his ulcerative colitis when he was skin and bones and they wanted to remove his bowels and I rehabilitated him without surgery. His mother didn't even visit him. He eats everything now even milk and dairy, gluten with absolutely no issues. He is the envy of all his mates because he can run like a kid, has no belly and still has all his hair. Meanwhile, his friends have to watch and be careful of what they eat. He eats like a horse and has the body of a thoroughbred.

As for the atm. He came into the marriage with little wealth and I made him a rich man. I definately did not marry him for his money because there wasn't any. His mother squandered the family wealth. He was shocked to find out how much I had accumulated before I came into the marriage. He never suspected that I started investing my money from a young age. He castigated me for taking $30,000 from his savings for a deposit on an investment property, while we were still building our house. He scolded me for bidding too high. I told him one day this house will make you a rich man This property is now worth 1.2million and today we can build apartments on it. I told him that one day we would buy the property next door and I did. I showed him how to make money. He had no idea how too if I didn't push him. I had many opportunities to marry wealthy men but what was the fun in that. I wanted to create my own wealth and I was looking for someone special to help me achieve my dreams. If I had married a wealthy man I probably would have needed to be submissive to his dictates. It would never have worked for me. I understood this from a young age. I needed complete freedom to be who I am. My husband gave me complete freedom and has always been my biggest supporter. I made the right choice because he had all the right traits of being faithful, good values, hardworking and the potential to be a good father. Besides, what is the chance of finding your soulmate. So glad I waited for him after all the those derelict ones. Yes, he was very fertile and so was I. I think with my last one we didn't even have sex. So his sperm must have been, not only good swimmers but pretty good jumpers and I was still breastfeeding.

I wish you luck in finding your soulmate.

If he treats me like his queen, then I treat him as my prince. Our relationship goes beyond the physical - there does not have to be sex involved for us to still be excited to please each other even after > 35 years.

Yes, I enjoy having my feet kissed very much :)
Do you mean if you are the queen he is the king? I'm pretty sure that's what you mean to. Being the queen wth a prince sounds very Oedipal.

On another note I was recently watching a TV show from China called a bite of China. I highly recommend it as it is very well done. One thing I noticed in this episode was all the positive reinforcement between husbands and wives. Many of them work together, such as the beekeeping couple, and their life is a joint adventure and commitment to material success and marital love. The husband says quite a few times that in Sichuan region women run the show. I think this is the missing link here - women are powerful and their suggestions are often taken very seriously. It's exactly their soft spoken manner that "works like a charm". Baudrillard has written about this extensively in the book "Seduction" where feminism is stripping women of any real power because in some contexts subtle power is more effective than explicit power. Being the voice in your husbands ear about the future value of properties is one example. It's somehow steering the reins while someone else holds them.
You sound like you were a very good wife and mother and still are.

bite of China: (way better than Anthony BOREDain)
 

raypeatclips

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Now I see reading comprehension is also among your problems. This explains a lot. LOL

So anyway, I'm done. Won't take the bait on this any longer. Again, as you said, OP is free to take advice from whomever he chooses: young men who have the same issues he does with women, or women who actually know what might help him, based on personal experience.

a53.jpg
 

milk_lover

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I dunno...I'm wondering if George RR doesn't have something going with the producers and HBO to not complete his books now before the end of the TV series. Guess we'll see.

There are so many people who could turn out to be Azor Ahai...what makes you think will be Jamie? Tyrion would be a good one. He's obviously going to play a pivotal role in the endgame, right?

I think Jaquen H'Gar and Syrio Forrell are one and the same, and Jaquen is going to show up at Winterfell with a bag of faces for Arya to wear.

Anyway, shouldn't hijack the thread. I'm still in the show hole over this short season, though.
I read this reddit thread some time ago --> (Spoilers Main) I've been working on a theory about how it all might end. • r/asoiaf

It kinda convinced me he will be the one.. But really any main character can be Azor Ahai at this point :)

Yeah it looks like he is not fond of what the HBO producers have done to his story.. You can't really blame D&D if they have no source material to take from.
 

whodathunkit

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Yeah it looks like he is not fond of what the HBO producers have done to his story.. You can't really blame D&D if they have no source material to take from.
No, you really can't blame them at all. I did hear he was collaborating with them. But I've been trying to stay away from potential spoilers, preferring instead to speculate on my own or with a small group of like-minded geeks, so I don't know the state of GRR's relations with the show's producers. You being on Reddit no doubt know a lot more than me.

I do know I'm a lot less irked with the show's producers than I am with GRR. Not only was his last book a mess (seemed to me like he was aimlessly spinning off in different directions just to keep the books going and the revenue flowing...not great, compelling storytelling like the first two and debatably three books at all), but this one is taking so long to get published that I almost don't care if he finishes his series or not. Once the show ends in some decisive way or other, I may not care what he has to say any more. We'll see.
 

Ella

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Immaculate conception.

This is too funny. Madonna. Back in those dark days of working with the street girls, my nickname was The Madonna. The pimps were tough bully thugs, but they were intimidated by me. I had guns held to my head and threatened with knives. I was so ******* fearless that it scares the ***t out me thinking about. However, no-one was game to hurt me. I was untouchable. The called me the madonna because they sensed something holy or sacred about me. I was much younger than the girls I was helping and perhaps it bothered them that I could not be easily influenced like the street girls.

Lots of suggestions were made that if I was smart, I could be earning lots of money, driving flashy cars, living in beautiful apartments. Those enticements had little influence on me but to the girls it was these material things that kept them in the trade. The girls were earning lots of money and they were living the high life but I couldn't think of anything worse.

My last year at university was back in 2009. We had pretty bad bushfires while I was doing my pHd. One tragedy after another resulted in my physical breakdown. Ny cortisol was sky high and my body was breaking down fairly rapidly. I was given funding which I had work a life time to get. University bought 2 microscope worth 1.25 million to do live culture fluorescent staining for my thesis and I had to abandon my research because I was not able to walk. ***t happens when you least expect it. I'm kinda glad that I did not complete my thesis because time has help me to consolidate my thinking and gain a better perspective on how to tacke the research. Peat has help me to connect the dots. I was on the right track but didn't understand how all the bits fitted together. I will still continue my research but look for collaborators who have a vested interest and perhaps provide the funding. Alternatively, if I am feeling stronger, I will just start begging from scratch again.
 

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