HealingBoy
Member
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2019
- Messages
- 61
Hello,
Just some context (go down for the tianeptine part) : I lost lot of money on cryptos in december. I had to find a job very quickly, in a field that I don't enjoy anymore (IT) to pay debts and give back money to friends, brother, banks. I really thought I would NEVER EVER go back to an office, working long hours for doing meaningless things. Financial security is critical for me. On February 14th, I started this job and on the same day, my girlfriend asked for a break and then a break-up ensued. On Valentine day, ironic isn't it. The stress and anxiety was huge, I felt completely abandoned to my fate, even though I have been supported by friends and family. I was crying almost everyday, strongly and in total despair. I suddenly became a strong believer, you can guess...
Today, I try to keep myself as busy as possible, even though it's a kind of escape. I'm still emotional. The pleasure is not always there but at least I'm active. Though, I'm not that motivated to pratice arts and continue my training in hypnosis. I don't find much meaning and pleasure in anything. I still dream about making big money through crypto, once I build a good stack to invest. The only things that calm me now are being constantly with friends, people, relationship with a girl. Otherwise, I feel isolated.
The tianeptine part
In despair, I saw a psychiatrist and asked him for tianeptine because I thought it would be very helpful for my stressing life, since childhood. He prescribed it to me while saying I didn't need it and that my anxiety was only the result of my catastrophizing and maladapted mental. 12.5 mg x3 / day. I'm afraid of taking it now. So many stories about addiction and side effects. I'm anxious about being anxious because last time I took one tianeptine pill in the morning, I got pretty bad anxiety in the evening, and took me 3 4 days to recover. I had bouts of anxiety for at least a month. Just from one pill.
I was thinking about "microdosing" tianeptine : breaking the pills so I get 6 mg and see how I react over the day. But still I'm afraid.
I'm exhausted of being afraid of life. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to lose hope.
Just some context (go down for the tianeptine part) : I lost lot of money on cryptos in december. I had to find a job very quickly, in a field that I don't enjoy anymore (IT) to pay debts and give back money to friends, brother, banks. I really thought I would NEVER EVER go back to an office, working long hours for doing meaningless things. Financial security is critical for me. On February 14th, I started this job and on the same day, my girlfriend asked for a break and then a break-up ensued. On Valentine day, ironic isn't it. The stress and anxiety was huge, I felt completely abandoned to my fate, even though I have been supported by friends and family. I was crying almost everyday, strongly and in total despair. I suddenly became a strong believer, you can guess...
Today, I try to keep myself as busy as possible, even though it's a kind of escape. I'm still emotional. The pleasure is not always there but at least I'm active. Though, I'm not that motivated to pratice arts and continue my training in hypnosis. I don't find much meaning and pleasure in anything. I still dream about making big money through crypto, once I build a good stack to invest. The only things that calm me now are being constantly with friends, people, relationship with a girl. Otherwise, I feel isolated.
The tianeptine part
In despair, I saw a psychiatrist and asked him for tianeptine because I thought it would be very helpful for my stressing life, since childhood. He prescribed it to me while saying I didn't need it and that my anxiety was only the result of my catastrophizing and maladapted mental. 12.5 mg x3 / day. I'm afraid of taking it now. So many stories about addiction and side effects. I'm anxious about being anxious because last time I took one tianeptine pill in the morning, I got pretty bad anxiety in the evening, and took me 3 4 days to recover. I had bouts of anxiety for at least a month. Just from one pill.
I was thinking about "microdosing" tianeptine : breaking the pills so I get 6 mg and see how I react over the day. But still I'm afraid.
I'm exhausted of being afraid of life. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to lose hope.
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