38 Male UK. Tired Of Being Like The Walking Dead

Discussion in 'Logs' started by Diddleum, Jan 6, 2020.

  1. Vinny

    Vinny Member

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    Keep us posted, pls
     
  2. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Better than average yestarday. Still recovering from a cold so that’s holding me back somewhat. Had a nice evening with girlfriend. Had decent enough sex with 50mg viagra.

    slept pretty well. Dosed 0.5mg arimidex, 100mg preg, 25mg DHEA again. No obvious lift but I did eat at same time. I feel a bit better though. My baseline has improved. Bit more focus, but more energy.

    my arimidex dose is what steroid uses take. And a high dose for them. It should really be dropping my estrogen by 70% from what I’ve read. On steroid hormones everyone talks of estrogen crashes and how bad they are. Well as it stands 0.5mg daily as a non steroid user is giving me subtle improvements.

    I think I’ll wait until my cold clears up and I’ll increase to 0.75mg if I’m still doing well.

    I noticed today and yestarday my face skin looks tighter - I look better. It had gone all big and rounded like moon face after eating loads of carbs.

    my eating has dropped a little so probably that. Maybe the hormones I’m taking.
     
  3. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Tired yestarday I napped for 2 hours late morning after working. I felt completely drained. Usual sort of feeling after I have sex. Felt a bit better in the evening.

    slept well, woke once at 4:30 to pee. Woke ok. Feel solid. Cold is almost gone. Took the same supplements as yestarday. Voice is notably very deep and strong.

    waking temp was 36.5c - good and I haven’t been eating that much - about 2500 cals.
     
  4. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Been pretty good. No revelations just consistently a bit better. More energy, slept all through the night two nights in a row.

    I think I’m noticing a very slight improvement in interest in sex. However the day after sex I’m drained and a lot of my energy and enthusiasm goes but comes back with a day or two of not orgasming.

    Makes me focus more on prolactin. Have got cabergoline on route.

    took 1mg arimidex yestarday morning. Didn’t notice any further improvements. I’m taking more than most steroid users use. Puzzling.
     
  5. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Felt ultra depressed anxious tired today. Eating has slipped today as all I want to do is curl up in the dark and cry.

    have been sleeping heavy and not waking up though!

    Can’t help but think it was having sex twice in 48hours has done this to me. Maybe I’ve crashed my estrogen. Pffff who knows.
     
  6. tara

    tara Member

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    I don't know very much about the interaction of all those supps you've been taking with restoring energy balance via food. The food alone will probably give your body impetus to restore a stronger hormone balance, but in the meantime, it can take a little adjusting. I'd be concerned about whether some of those supplements would complicate that process.
    You prob don't have to eat 4k every day, but if you've been chronically starved and want your system to recover, then I'd consider Olwyn's advice about getting the minimum amount every day - I'd guess that's 3000 cal for you.
    Whether your feelings are related to nutrition or to matters involving your relationship, I am of course not in a position to know.
    Have you checked that your diet contains enough zinc?
     
  7. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    hello,

    im getting around 3k cals most days. Lots of carbs without fail. Temps and heart rate are all good.

    im still on the fence about wether undereating is my issue but I’m not ruling anything out. That’s why it’s so hard to stop my interest in supplements. My life has just drifted past me for the most and I feel compelled to do everything I can to get some reprieve. In recent years I’ve gone to more extreme things like injecting testosterone. I’m past the point of being worried about the long term implications of taking hormones.

    my relationship is fine. It’s very easy going. I just feel bad about lack of sexual performance interest etc. But my issues are there whether single or not.

    I’m pretty sure my zinc is good and have tried supplementing several times. I eat a lot of meat, chocolate etc.

    orgasm has always ruined me in a moment. I’ve read about pois (post orgasm illness syndrome) and it’s me. No known cure however.

    not orgasming helps a lot. But it’s hard to follow in a relationship. I try Karezza but I guess I have premauture ejaculation as well so I literally can’t keep it in. I’ve gone several months without orgasm abd I do genereally feel better, brilliant at points, but not healthy and it all goes almost instantly in a orgasm!

    it’s why I’m hoping on prolactin causing all my issues. Cabergoline is the strongest medication for that.

    I woke improved this morning +3 days since I had sex. Which is my normal pattern - slowly feeling a bit better till I orgasm...
     
  8. Nigel Forester

    Nigel Forester Member

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    Do you feel better in summertime?

    Also I would just eat oysters instead of taking zinc supplements.

    I haven’t read the whole thread but I notice at the start you say appetite is not big and now you are eating more, which is a big improvement. Do you take a moment to appreciate the progress you have had? Keep things in perspective. Sometimes I get sad about how I feel but then remember how much better I am now.

    My tip is to eat what feels good. Sometimes I want to eat liver multiple times a week and I usually feel better after. You might find some supplement that fills in a gap but good foods will do the same on a more level basis.
     
  9. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Hello,

    I believe I’ve had zero progress. I know for a fact if I go back to eating little I will feel better more often. Pattern that I’ve established over 20 years. I’ve been liked this pretty much my whole life. Getting worse as I age.

    I had no appetite at start and I have none now. I’m never hungry. I force food down. I guess I’ve learnt that I do adapt to eating more. I don’t crash immediately after. I eat massive amounts now and I feel no different.

    not sure if I consider that a success. Thanks for your input. I guess I I will see success as having a life. Having some wants or desires other than being on my own in my room.

    ive spent long times in the sun with no improvement. No better in summer time. Some of my more memorable periods of feeling better have been in winter.

    Once every few years I’ll get a burst or a window of feeling good for a few months. Usually when I’m single, then it goes when I find a partner. Makes me think the prolactin dopamine sex gap hpa axis is all mis aligned.
     
  10. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Have felt slowly slightly better the last few days. A little brighter, nothing great. Seems to follow my normal pattern of recovery from orgasm. 5 days has past.
     
  11. Goat-e

    Goat-e Member

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    Not feeling hungry is a problem. I was the same for years and it took a lot of work to reignite it. Eating food when you're not hungry can be counterproductive, and if you've tried force-feeding and that hasn't worked then perhaps you could focus on gaining hunger as a first step. This is of course easier said than done and will probably be unique to your situation.

    Have you tried raising stomach acid with betaine HCL? Histidine on an empty stomach (hits the receptors which signal for your own body to produce stomach acid). Does cannabis give you the munchies? Is there any activity you do which raises your hunger level? If you can find something (supplement, activity) which reliably raises hunger then I'd do that as often as you can. I've come to believe that your body responds to food differently if it's crying out for it than if you simply jam as much down your gullet as possible. Good luck.
     
  12. Nigel Forester

    Nigel Forester Member

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    Look into semen retention if you haven’t.

    If you don’t feel right with sex with partner maybe it is time to think about that situation. A big source of my anxieties was feeling I needed a partner to be accepted in society, now I only want a lover when it fits right. The lust sex tfw no gf brainwashing did a number on me and my friends growing up. It’s really noticeable in myself and other men how messed up it made us to have no ethical spiritual guidance from elders in the west.

    Maybe some of your issues is your life situation. I had to find out some truths about society and life in general which took me through some big darkness and struggle before I emerged. I feel much healthier now that I feel over arching “meaning” for lack of better term.

    How’s your gut function?
     
  13. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    thanks I’ve read a lot about semen retention, nofap etc. Tried practising chi Kung etc. I went 60 days odd of no orgasm. I felt great at points. I then orgasmed with a girl a couple of times and it disables me.

    i know what you mean about society and it’s pressures. I never actually really want to have sex but I feel like I should do it to be a man etc and end up forcing it taking viagra.

    I’ve never really had libido and never had a wet dream. As I abstain from orgasm my energy builds, my voice deepens, eyes and skin brighten and life seems worth living. A single orgasm ruins it.

    gut function seems ok. No bloating or pain, no noise, no feelings at all.tbh. Stools look ok
     
  14. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    the more I eat the worse I feel generally. I don’t need to eat much but I’m a healthy weight and strong looking. Hard to know what’s right, I’m going through a phase of forcing myself to eat. The only improvement is that I can eat a lot without crashing massively all the time.

    have tried so many supps, feels like all of them. Cypro is the usual one recommended for appetite. Hasn’t worked and just makes me sleepy. I might try it again. Injecting test did nothing. Betaine hcl did nothing apart from give me reflux. Been along time since I did cannabis, I remember it giving real pleasure when eating but never making me hungry. But that was 15 years ago.

    exercise doesn’t really make me hungry. I do a light physical job so I’m moving a fair bit (floor cleaning) but it never makes me feel hungry.

    guess I’ll keep up with the forced eating for a few months before I give up.
     
  15. Vinny

    Vinny Member

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    Than it seems you have to give up ejaculation for as long as it takes to recover. This is what I,ve been doing for roughly 3 yrs.
     
  16. milkboi

    milkboi Member

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    @Diddleum your symptoms are a lot like mine, crazy. I very often (basically always) crash after breakfast, often times nap and then, if I drink some coffee or take some stimulant I can feel normal (as in not brain foggy, fatigued) for a few hours.

    Btw, if you want to feel like a normal, motivated, able human being try Nicotine, it's helping me a lot right now to function.
     
  17. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    im not convinced giving up orgasm for a long time will fix it. If you’ve really gone 3 years and your still not fixed - it doesn’t suggest it’s a cure.
     
  18. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    sounds very familiar. Breakfast is always worst and often nap. Eating in the evening doesn’t have the same crash effect.

    It has got a bit better since I’ve been consistently eating but I know I’d feel better if I stopped eating for a few days.

    coffee only gives a good effect the first cup or two then I’ll get more tired from it and headaches.

    today I woke feeling ok, eat grapes and some bread and butter and now I’m in bed tired and depressed. I know I’ll brighten up later. It’s so messed up.
     
  19. Nigel Forester

    Nigel Forester Member

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    Ejaculatory sex should really only be for procreation. Think of how powerful a man’s seed is and to just shoot it into a plastic condom, a tissue, or into a woman made sterile with birth control, is pretty sacrilegious.

    From what you say I think you need to make some serious thought and choice about how you view and approach sex.
     
  20. OP
    Diddleum

    Diddleum Member

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    Today I’ve just laid in bed sleeping or staring at wall or resting with eyes closed with very little going on in my head.

    that’s all I want to do, it’s where I’m most comfortable.

    I also have a slight restless legs. I lay in bed voluntarily twitching my legs as it gives me some comfort. I know people with dopamine issues do that sort of thing. Bizzare!
     
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