Don't Know How Much Longer I Have. Can't Take The Constant, Unrelenting, Unexplainable; Anguish

LambdaAlpha

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Nov 7, 2017
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102
Lol, for months now I've been feeling like I'm going to drop dead at any second, feeling like my body is betraying me. On the outside i look like a healthy, normal, 21 year old. I have a nice build, skin, teeth, etc. I look healthy but I'm not. I have Ibs, 80% of the time my stools are hard balls, i have gerd aswell. My throat is always dry and burning from the acid reflux. I have shortness of breathe and dizziness all day on and off. I feel out of it most of the time. Spsced out, unfocused like I'm not even here. I feel like trash. Shortness of breathe, palpitations, heavy legs, bad cordination, anxiety, heacy chest I look upon people my age and even older with envy. Nobody believes me because i appear completely healthy. Wtf is wrong with me? Always exhausted, mentally, physically. I feel like death is near. Have had several panic attacks, all kinds of tests with the doctors to no avail. They say I'm perfectly healthy. Except for ibs snd gerd. Lol! I can't do this, i have no drive in my life because I'm suffering from some invisible...unknown ailment. Please someone kill me, i want to die. People around me just think I'm a "slacker" haha or don't take things seriously. I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING, all of the time, well most of the time. That's another thing, I'll have brief moments/stretches where i feel like a healthy human should feel, that's when I'll get stuff done, but that feeling doesn't last long. Anyone have any insight? I'd have killed myself already if i knew what happened after death, but i don't so i want to stay alive as long as possible, but not like this.
 

Waynish

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I'd say either go seek professional help, take psychedelics, move to a different location... But do something, make sure that happens ;)
 

Constatine

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Lol, for months now I've been feeling like I'm going to drop dead at any second, feeling like my body is betraying me. On the outside i look like a healthy, normal, 21 year old. I have a nice build, skin, teeth, etc. I look healthy but I'm not. I have Ibs, 80% of the time my stools are hard balls, i have gerd aswell. My throat is always dry and burning from the acid reflux. I have shortness of breathe and dizziness all day on and off. I feel out of it most of the time. Spsced out, unfocused like I'm not even here. I feel like trash. Shortness of breathe, palpitations, heavy legs, bad cordination, anxiety, heacy chest I look upon people my age and even older with envy. Nobody believes me because i appear completely healthy. Wtf is wrong with me? Always exhausted, mentally, physically. I feel like death is near. Have had several panic attacks, all kinds of tests with the doctors to no avail. They say I'm perfectly healthy. Except for ibs snd gerd. Lol! I can't do this, i have no drive in my life because I'm suffering from some invisible...unknown ailment. Please someone kill me, i want to die. People around me just think I'm a "slacker" haha or don't take things seriously. I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING, all of the time, well most of the time. That's another thing, I'll have brief moments/stretches where i feel like a healthy human should feel, that's when I'll get stuff done, but that feeling doesn't last long. Anyone have any insight? I'd have killed myself already if i knew what happened after death, but i don't so i want to stay alive as long as possible, but not like this.
O wow I had the same exact thing as you for a while. Got bit by a brown recluse twice then went on insane antibiotics. I almost died twice through the journey and got serotonin syndrome and extreme endotoxin poisoning through the journey twice as well. Had the dizzy feeling as well but sometimes I would get extreme excitotoxicity to where I felt like my brain was melting. I even hallucinated before due to it. All those terrible symptoms are gone now but Im not 100 percent better yet, maybe 80 or 90. My advice is the following: colostrum and lots of it (10 grams a day is a good amount), vitamin k, D, and A. vitamin k is the most important of the fat solubles as it reduces the inflammation endotoxin causes. Vitamin A and D can cause issues when improperly dosed, avoid oral application too as your stomach cant handle much. Lots of tea and some coffee seems to help me. You have a leaky blood brain barrier as well and caffeine seems to help with that. Though be very observant with the caffeine as if you have too much lactic acid in your blood from it it could give you mild acidosis, as you probably have a lot of D lactic acid producing bacteria in your stomach. Also don't drink overly acidic coffee, make your own coffee with alkaline water. Start taking Align probiotic, it is one of the only ones that works but go easy on the probiotics at first, with your impaired immune system and leaky gut you can have bad reactions to too much bacteria, a condition akin to sepsis. Don't consume any sugar that is not from a fruit or raw honey. Fruits and honey can improve the microbiome, pure sugar will worsen it. Get plenty and I mean plenty of sun exposure. Wake up in the early morning and walk back inside when it gets dark. Find ways to work outside. Get good sleep, at first it will be impossible to sleep well due to your condition but do everything you can to have good sleep patterns, don't eat before bed too. Do a 24 hour fast once a week, it really jolts your immune system and helps improve gut microbiome. Prolonged periods of undereating is bad for this condition but short fasts are great. Gelatin and glutamate are iffy. They can help the gut repair but they can also cause glutamate toxity in the brain if you have a leaky blood brain barrier and worsen the condition. If you notice really bad head symptoms magnesium as an Epsom salt bath (don't take it orally) can help. Avoid weed, alcohol, nicotine, wheat and other grains, cheap meats, nightshades including potatoes, pill capsules and fillers, and too much protein, or at least pay attention to which protein sources aggrevate you. Try taking a bath and rubbing baking soda on your skin, if you feel better you probably are producing a lot of lactic acid which is causing the fatigue, this is all due to the gut microbiome though.
Don't worry about death, you can feel 10 times worse and not die...Though you might wish it to be so at that point.
 

EIRE24

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O wow I had the same exact thing as you for a while. Got bit by a brown recluse twice then went on insane antibiotics. I almost died twice through the journey and got serotonin syndrome and extreme endotoxin poisoning through the journey twice as well. Had the dizzy feeling as well but sometimes I would get extreme excitotoxicity to where I felt like my brain was melting. I even hallucinated before due to it. All those terrible symptoms are gone now but Im not 100 percent better yet, maybe 80 or 90. My advice is the following: colostrum and lots of it (10 grams a day is a good amount), vitamin k, D, and A. vitamin k is the most important of the fat solubles as it reduces the inflammation endotoxin causes. Vitamin A and D can cause issues when improperly dosed, avoid oral application too as your stomach cant handle much. Lots of tea and some coffee seems to help me. You have a leaky blood brain barrier as well and caffeine seems to help with that. Though be very observant with the caffeine as if you have too much lactic acid in your blood from it it could give you mild acidosis, as you probably have a lot of D lactic acid producing bacteria in your stomach. Also don't drink overly acidic coffee, make your own coffee with alkaline water. Start taking Align probiotic, it is one of the only ones that works but go easy on the probiotics at first, with your impaired immune system and leaky gut you can have bad reactions to too much bacteria, a condition akin to sepsis. Don't consume any sugar that is not from a fruit or raw honey. Fruits and honey can improve the microbiome, pure sugar will worsen it. Get plenty and I mean plenty of sun exposure. Wake up in the early morning and walk back inside when it gets dark. Find ways to work outside. Get good sleep, at first it will be impossible to sleep well due to your condition but do everything you can to have good sleep patterns, don't eat before bed too. Do a 24 hour fast once a week, it really jolts your immune system and helps improve gut microbiome. Prolonged periods of undereating is bad for this condition but short fasts are great. Gelatin and glutamate are iffy. They can help the gut repair but they can also cause glutamate toxity in the brain if you have a leaky blood brain barrier and worsen the condition. If you notice really bad head symptoms magnesium as an Epsom salt bath (don't take it orally) can help. Avoid weed, alcohol, nicotine, wheat and other grains, cheap meats, nightshades including potatoes, pill capsules and fillers, and too much protein, or at least pay attention to which protein sources aggrevate you. Try taking a bath and rubbing baking soda on your skin, if you feel better you probably are producing a lot of lactic acid which is causing the fatigue, this is all due to the gut microbiome though.
Don't worry about death, you can feel 10 times worse and not die...Though you might wish it to be so at that point.
You think probiotics are good? I thought peat promoted less bacteria is better?
 

Constatine

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You think probiotics are good? I thought peat promoted less bacteria is better?
He doesn't exactly think that. He promotes a more sterile gut but has noted that antibiotics can have dangerous side effects and can lead to vitamin k deficiencies. The problem is that bacteria will grow in your intestines no matter what, nuking them with antibiotics will only disrupt the delicate balance your immune system is trying to create. Also in a germ free environment the blood brain barrier is extremely leaky. As for probiotics they can make a condition worse or better depending on the bacteria used and the condition of your immune system.
 

EIRE24

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He doesn't exactly think that. He promotes a more sterile gut but has noted that antibiotics can have dangerous side effects and can lead to vitamin k deficiencies. The problem is that bacteria will grow in your intestines no matter what, nuking them with antibiotics will only disrupt the delicate balance your immune system is trying to create. Also in a germ free environment the blood brain barrier is extremely leaky. As for probiotics they can make a condition worse or better depending on the bacteria used and the condition of your immune system.
So would it be best to weed out the bad using carrot salad, cascara and activated charcoal and then using a good probiotics to create so much good bacteria to over populate and create a better ratio of good to bad?

What' your take on fiber then?
 

Lucenzo01

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May 17, 2016
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I swear by Vitamin E succinate, vitamin C megadoses and niacinamide. Since taking them I feel almost perfect all the time and can take a lot of supps that would wreck me before like aminoacids. I know that it has not to be good for everyone but my experience have been great. Good luck.
 

sweetpeat

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The first thing that pops into my mind for someone with your symptoms is: how much are you eating? Undereating can cause all of the things you describe. Supplements are often useless or give contradictory effects if a person isn't getting enough energy from food. Can you give an estimate of your daily calorie intake? You can use Cronometer: Track nutrition & count calories if you need help tallying calories.
 
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Can you take a deep breath with your diaphragm? Try taking a deep chest breath then a deep stomach breath then another in the middle where your diaphram is. The diaphragm breath is difficult or tight then you might have a hiatal hernia pressing on your vagus nerve making you feel miserable
 

Prosper

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It could very well be some kind of heavy metal toxicity. Have you gotten a hair test yet?
 

BibleBeliever

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You should post your weekly diet and any supplements/exercises you do. Amount of sunlight you get too.
What is your salt intake like?
Back when I was not doing so well having more salt almost always countered all fatigue, negative thoughts and muscular weakness.

Generally constipation is due to high calcium and low magnesium.
Obviously suicide is an illogical solution, as after death there is the judgment and self murder is judged harshly.
 

Constatine

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So would it be best to weed out the bad using carrot salad, cascara and activated charcoal and then using a good probiotics to create so much good bacteria to over populate and create a better ratio of good to bad?

What' your take on fiber then?
Good fibers like carrots are theoretically good but a lot of people still seem to get problems with them. They are worth trying though, dip it in something that can modulate bacteria. Cascara can definitely modulate gut microbiome but I didn't get a whole lot of benefit from it. Activated charcoal does its job but it can slow down bowl movement a lot.
 

HLP

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Do you sleep well? This is the one of the first things I would fix. Try a one day "potato hack" of eating cold potatoes or reheated potatoes. Nip any sighing or yawning in the bud. Less is more when it comes to breathing. Not to say deep breathing is not beneficial, just as long as it is through the nose and followed by a longer pause after exhalation. I survived 40 years of sheer exhaustion and felt like dying many times. My problem was hypothyroidism not being diagnosed. As Ray has mentioned it takes about 4 years to deplete PUFA from your body as you carefully avoid it. This detox process can come with side effects that make you think your going in the wrong direction. You're not. Limiting yourself to potatoes only days can speed this process up. One day here and there is probably the best way. As for the constipation, I had very persistent constipation much like you and potatoes really cleaned that up and I'm not sure why. You could try a bit of cascara, using only the amount you need to keep things regular. You need to share more info about yourself, diet, habits.sleep issues and symptoms. Lot's of good advice above!
 

Arctic Fire

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Big picture: Get whatever support you can from family and friends. Being more connected = less despair + more help = more calmness = better judgment and problem-solving. And as sweetpeat said, make sure you're eating enough. If you're not, everything else is less likely to work.

Secondary stuff: If you haven't already, consider experimenting with cascara sagrada (constipation), salt (anxiety and general energy), famotidine (reflux).
 

Luann

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I swear by Vitamin E succinate, vitamin C megadoses and niacinamide. Since taking them I feel almost perfect all the time and can take a lot of supps that would wreck me before like aminoacids. I know that it has not to be good for everyone but my experience have been great. Good luck.

The niacinamide actually seemed to make things worse for me. Maybe it's a matter of getting used to it. The vite C is a good idea. Thanks friend

>> that would wreck me before like amino acids...

Lol can relate.
 

dannibo

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How many vaccinations did you get ? Aluminium and Mercury cause the exact symptoms you've described.They lead to brain short circuits and if indeed you have had these poisons you need a chelate and oxidative therapy. You should post more on this forum as all will do their best to advise you mate. Have you been exposed to any black molds as they can affect your sinus and lungs causing similar symptoms.
Gerd is help big time with apple cider vinegar in a little sterile water of just plain 4% hydrochloric acid in sterile water. You have to stop drinking tap water as it contains fluoride and chlorine both of which will amplify your bad feelings.
 
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HLP

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On that note about water, you may be drinking way too much water. This was one of my problems. Someone in a weakened state needs to only sip water occasionally and use fresh fruit to quench thirst.
 

fradon

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Sep 23, 2017
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Lol, for months now I've been feeling like I'm going to drop dead at any second, feeling like my body is betraying me. On the outside i look like a healthy, normal, 21 year old. I have a nice build, skin, teeth, etc. I look healthy but I'm not. I have Ibs, 80% of the time my stools are hard balls, i have gerd aswell. My throat is always dry and burning from the acid reflux. I have shortness of breathe and dizziness all day on and off. I feel out of it most of the time. Spsced out, unfocused like I'm not even here. I feel like trash. Shortness of breathe, palpitations, heavy legs, bad cordination, anxiety, heacy chest I look upon people my age and even older with envy. Nobody believes me because i appear completely healthy. Wtf is wrong with me? Always exhausted, mentally, physically. I feel like death is near. Have had several panic attacks, all kinds of tests with the doctors to no avail. They say I'm perfectly healthy. Except for ibs snd gerd. Lol! I can't do this, i have no drive in my life because I'm suffering from some invisible...unknown ailment. Please someone kill me, i want to die. People around me just think I'm a "slacker" haha or don't take things seriously. I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING, all of the time, well most of the time. That's another thing, I'll have brief moments/stretches where i feel like a healthy human should feel, that's when I'll get stuff done, but that feeling doesn't last long. Anyone have any insight? I'd have killed myself already if i knew what happened after death, but i don't so i want to stay alive as long as possible, but not like this.

you need to move...get moving everyday you should be walking or running and sweating as much as you can...get that stuff out. sounds like adrenal and methylation issues though hard to say if you are an undermethylator or overmethylator. If you are overly sensitive to your daily life where everything hurts i'm guessing and overmethylator.

could also be LOW VITAMIN D
 
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